Someone who I consider a dear friend from work has brought up the idea that a bunch of us from work plan to go on a cruise together this next summer. It automatically caused us to be very nervous and have butterflies in our stomach. It’s the tug-of-war between wanting so badly to connect with our coworkers and form stronger bonds dare I say friendships in the 3D world and the humongous fears of being rejected, avoided, and ignored which would make the trip miserable. Then, there is the cost and could I even save up that much money for a trip? On top of that is the fact that I am fairly certain my friend was indicating this would be a girls thing (no spouses), not that mine would want to go because the thought of being on a cruise to him is like “being in a giant sardine can sitting on top of miles deep of water….enough water that if you go down far enough it will crush your skull not to mention the things in the water just waiting for a chance to eat you.” So, yeah, he’s not a cruise fan. But, the fact that he and I haven’t even been able to have a honeymoon, yet, after almost 3 years of marriage and if I was to go on this girls cruise, just doesn’t feel right because the first exotic vacation I have after we get married, we feel, should be on a honeymoon with our spouse.
I suppose I would be more excited about the thought if we had already had that exotic vacation with our hubby. Then, we would deal with if we could afford to save up for it and the worries about being rejected by folks after we get on the cruise….
I just dunno what to do. If I tell my friend that I cannot or do not wish to go, I am afraid she will take it the wrong way. ::sighs:: I am so anxious about this whole thing, but I feel I should take one side or the other before I let it go too far and she believes I will go. Confused and worried…..