Social Stuff


Someone who I consider a dear friend from work has brought up the idea that a bunch of us from work plan to go on a cruise together this next summer. It automatically caused us to be very nervous and have butterflies in our stomach. It’s the tug-of-war between wanting so badly to connect with our coworkers and form stronger bonds dare I say friendships in the 3D world and the humongous fears of being rejected, avoided, and ignored which would make the trip miserable. Then, there is the cost and could I even save up that much money for a trip? On top of that is the fact that I am fairly certain my friend was indicating this would be a girls thing (no spouses), not that mine would want to go because the thought of being on a cruise to him is like “being in a giant sardine can sitting on top of miles deep of water….enough water that if you go down far enough it will crush your skull not to mention the things in the water just waiting for a chance to eat you.”  So, yeah, he’s not a cruise fan. But, the fact that he and I haven’t even been able to have a honeymoon, yet, after almost 3 years of marriage and if I was to go on this girls cruise, just doesn’t feel right because the first exotic vacation I have after we get married, we feel, should be on a honeymoon with our spouse.

I suppose I would be more excited about the thought if we had already had that exotic vacation with our hubby. Then, we would deal with if we could afford to save up for it and the worries about being rejected by folks after we get on the cruise….

I just dunno what to do. If I tell my friend that I cannot or do not wish to go, I am afraid she will take it the wrong way. ::sighs::  I am so anxious about this whole thing, but I feel I should take one side or the other before I let it go too far and she believes I will go. Confused and worried…..

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7 responses to “Social Stuff

  1. I’d say just be as honest as you can. I often find people are more understanding than we fear they will be. I was worried about telling some friends we’re not going to be going to their fourth party after all; but I was just straightforward and told them hubbie wasn’t feeling up to it because he has a ton of stress from work and wouldn’t want to be around them playing Rock Band and I didn’t want to go to yet another group gather without him (as they often seem to fall on days he works), and he was all, “Well, we’re still going to try to bribe you into coming but we totally understand.”

    In this case, I’d just be honest. It’s a big expense and you wouldn’t feel right going on vacation with them when you and hubbie haven’t had a vacation together in X amount of years.

  2. Thanks for this encouragement. I feel that we are gonna have to, but it’s getting the nerve up to do it. I get so nervous and scared of being rejected. Your comment really helps cuz it so helps to hear how others would handle it. And yeah, you’re right, it’s a lot of money.

  3. Well, I sent her an email explaining my situation and how we are hoping to plan a honeymoon sometime in the near future and don’t know how we’d be able to afford the cruise in the first place at $600 and something dollars for me to go with them….. Sent the email yesterday, but haven’t heard anything back. Kinda doubt I will…..

  4. That sucks. Hopefully she’s just busy with 4th plans and things and hasn’t had chance to catch up on everything yet.
    I hope that she gets back to you and that everything goes well.

  5. Got a response from our friend last night. The first 2 words in her email set us at ease: “I understand.” Whew. We feel much better about it but being a system who rather fears conflict, it was tough to tell her our feelings. We are so glad we did, tho, cuz it help us to know that things DO work out with friends who really understand.

  6. Woohoo! I’m so glad to hear it. Sounds like you have some good friends at work 🙂

  7. Yeah this particular one is really good. We consider her a good friend. She is the only one we feel cool with at work, but hopefully we will be able to form more friendships over time.

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