Yanno, one of the things that has always freaked us out is unannounced company. It’s just the whole surprise element and not feeling prepared for it. For one thing, as a multi, I need to plan inside to have the right parts out for company….the ones who can handle the outside world and are not living in the past and full of fear. We need to have time to have those parts out and ready to “present” us to whoever it is.
Well, our husband’s family has never been good at calling ahead and if they do, it is usually from down the block or something. This would be even harder for us if we had not known his family for 20 years now. When we used to be roommates with his sister, they would drop by unannounced all the time (back when we were just out of college) and it would make us super crazy. I’m glad we are able to roll with it better now considering not sure how hubby would handle our freaking out every time we get his family over.
Still, they arrived last night to visit (they got a hotel room in town down the road from us). They only stayed a couple hours and it was nice visiting, I really like his mom lots. They are in town for a family reunion and were asking us if we wanted to go to the fish fry tonight (Saturday night). Hubby didn’t really respond which is typical and I just looked to him because it is his family and his decision. I went all day today not knowing what we are going to do. When he got home from work, we asked him and he didn’t remember them asking about it (did I mention he is dissociative?). I reminded him and he said that if they pushed the issue that he imagines he’ll go ahead and go, but he was exhausted and knows he would be miserable there. I encouraged him that if he didn’t feel like he wanted to go to just tell them he is too tired (had a rough workday).
Still, don’t know what will happen and it’s the not being able to anticipate my immediate future that really shakes us up. I think it’s becuz as a child, we were not able to anticipate what would happen when and who was going to hurt us next and when that would be. Always hypervigilant as a child and I don’t want to be like that now. So, with that I will close this post and take something for anxiety as I forgot to earlier and definitely feeling it now.