Unannounced Company

Yanno, one of the things that has always freaked us out is unannounced company. It’s just the whole surprise element and not feeling prepared for it. For one thing, as a multi, I need to plan inside to have the right parts out for company….the ones who can handle the outside world and are not living in the past and full of fear. We need to have time to have those parts out and ready to “present” us to whoever it is.

Well, our husband’s family has never been good at calling ahead and if they do, it is usually from down the block or something. This would be even harder for us if we had not known his family for 20 years now. When we used to be roommates with his sister, they would drop by unannounced all the time (back when we were just out of college) and it would make us super crazy. I’m glad we are able to roll with it better now considering not sure how hubby would handle our freaking out every time we get his family over.

Still, they arrived last night to visit (they got a hotel room in town down the road from us). They only stayed a couple hours and it was nice visiting, I really like his mom lots. They are in town for a family reunion and were asking us if we wanted to go to the fish fry tonight (Saturday night). Hubby didn’t really respond which is typical and I just looked to him because it is his family and his decision. I went all day today not knowing what we are going to do. When he got home from work, we asked him and he didn’t remember them asking about it (did I mention he is dissociative?). I reminded him and he said that if they pushed the issue that he imagines he’ll go ahead and go, but he was exhausted and knows he would be miserable there. I encouraged him that if he didn’t feel like he wanted to go to just tell them he is too tired (had a rough workday).

Still, don’t know what will happen and it’s the not being able to anticipate my immediate future that really shakes us up. I think it’s becuz as a child, we were not able to anticipate what would happen when and who was going to hurt us next and when that would be. Always hypervigilant as a child and I don’t want to be like that now. So, with that I will close this post and take something for anxiety as I forgot to earlier and definitely feeling it now.


6 responses to “Unannounced Company

  1. I can relate to this to a certain degree. I dislike when people just bring extra people over to our house with them. We’ve finally got our friends to all be polite and CALL us when they’re coming over and to ask us if it’s okay to bring someone else over, which is a major plus. They seem to have gotten a lot better about that since we’ve come out to them about being multiple.

    I remember in the past when people would show up and it’s like, “Oh, by the way Bill is here…” and it’s like, “Oh, um, great. I have to excuse myself for a minute,” like I was going to the bathroom and then I’d come out when we were more able to socialize i.e. Max had come out.

  2. Update, hubby decided to tell folks that he wasn’t going and so we are calmer now. They stayed for an hour or two this evening and then said they would see us tomorrow. Thinking we can handle that 🙂 Just remembering to breathe. lol!

  3. Awesome.
    We had similar things. We were debating going to the gather with our friends after all; but then decided against it. We were going to go to Mum’s or going to go to have them come here; but in the end hubbie and I decided to just do things here by ourselves. I called Mum back and let her know and she was all, “Okay!”
    I wonder if it was actually a relief for her because her SO doesn’t like to do gathers and things either.

  4. Great job dealing with unannounced company! I’ve been very lucky as they haven’t made it up this far to drop in. I don’t know if they ever would, but it would drive me insane… so proud of you guys for handling things so well!

  5. Thanks, yeah, it’s always a challenge nowadays, but we are so much better than we were in the beginning. It’s crazy to think that I’ve known hubby’s family for 20 years! Wow, huh?

  6. Yes, wow, for sure! I hope I can say the same… 20 years from now! 😉

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